Round and round the mulberry bush

Alternative Action Team president, B. Kalai Vanar, wants Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin to revoke Bersih chairperson S. Ambiga’s citizenship for going ahead with the plan to organise a mass rally on July 9. Kalai said his movement was backed by Pusat Penyelidikan Tamil Malaysia. -- Free Malaysia Today

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

Datuk: Tan Sri, I think I may have found the solution on how to handle BERSIH.

Tan Sri: Finally….a solution. Shoot!

Datuk: We can withdraw Ambiga’s citizenship.

Tan Sri: Now hold on! Won’t that make the Indians angry? We already have problems with HINDRAF. I don’t want a new movement called AMBIGARAF to be launched by the Indians.

Datuk: AMBIGARAF?

Tan Sri: Yes, Ambiga Rights Action Force.

Datuk: Oh, that won’t happen, Tan Sri. It is the Tamils themselves who are asking His Majesty the Agong to withdraw Ambiga’s citizenship.

Tan Sri: Oh good, if the Tamils themselves are asking for it then no problem.

Datuk: Yes, then later when we withdraw the citizenship of other Indians the Tamils cannot complain since they started this whole ‘withdraw the citizenship of Indians’ thingy.

Tan Sri: Hmm…yes…I like that. Once we open the Pandora’s box the Indians can’t complain any longer.

Datuk: Pandora? Is he also a Tamil?

Tan Sri: Oh never mind…sigh…how I wish we did not change our medium of education from English to Malay. When can we withdraw her citizenship?

Datuk: As soon as we sort out one tiny problem.

Tan Sri: What tiny problem?

Datuk: If we withdraw her citizenship and she is no longer a Malaysian citizen, she can no longer remain in Malaysia. All non-citizens will have to be deported.

Tan Sri: So? That’s the whole idea isn’t it? To kick her out of Malaysia.

Datuk: Yes, but where do we deport her to?

Tan Sri: To India of course.

Datuk: But she is not an Indian citizen.

Tan Sri: So what? That would become India’s problem, not ours.

Datuk: But how do we send her back to India?

Tan Sri: On a plane of course, like how all Indians go to India.

Datuk: But she won’t have a Malaysian passport since we would have to cancel her passport once we withdraw her citizenship.

Tan Sri: Naturally. But why would that be a problem?

Datuk: No airline would allow her to board a plane without a passport.

Tan Sri: Then how would we send her back to India?

Datuk: Exactly. That is what I meant.

Tan Sri: So we can’t let her remain in Malaysia because she is no longer a Malaysian citizen but we can’t deport her since she no longer has a passport.

Datuk: Right. That's the tiny problem I was talking about.

Tan Sri: Sheesh….Catch 22.

Datuk: You want me to catch who?

Tan Sri: Sigh….Malay medium education…never mind.

Datuk: So what do you suggest we do, Tan Sri?

Tan Sri: Me? You were the one who suggested we withdraw her citizenship.

Datuk: The suggestion came from the Tamils, Tan Sri.

Tan Sri: Aiyah…these Tamils are talking…..

Datuk: Tamil?

Tan Sri: I was going to say 'talking cock'. So that means it is not possible to withdraw anyone’s citizenship then?

Datuk: Not unless we can figure out what to do with them once we withdraw their citizenship.

Tan Sri: Aiyah…this will not work. Go figure out another solution.

Datuk: Okay, Tan Sri. And what should I tell these Tamil people?

Tan Sri: Tell them to stop talking….

Datuk: Cock?

Tan Sri: No, Tamil.

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Comments (32) Add Comment

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written by Motherchell, July 05, 2011 23:58:01

Umno will carry on the act till they reach "orgasm". These two fellas , their favorites, Najis and Kriss have now roped in-- rather chained in Tony Yew and who was that again--- Kalai?? Oh!! Since UMNO is bankrupt of ideas for the act -- these two AAholes --Alternative Action Holes may be found hanging on the ceiling fan when UMNO reaches orgasm. A wonderful scene for Datuk T to carry out his favorite innate hobby with his cam. Bolehland's courts would say it was suicide!!!!

WHAT WILL A BANKRUPT UMNO THINK OF NeXT??

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written by Anak Desa, July 05, 2011 16:11:32

This bastard Kalai Vanar is a hindraf turncoat, who expected windfall of fortune.This guy has several cases against him. The Tamilians especially morons like him, who dont think out of the box, the Indian community would always fail on the whole. They must think as a Malaysian first and Indian Malaysian ;second

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written by Goostee, July 05, 2011 15:42:17

LATEST DEVELOPMENTS.................

Datuk : After a sleepless night, I've finally come up with the solution.

Tan Sri Really ? Now what ?

Datuk : This is a really good idea We can kill many birds with one stone. You may nevertheless have to speak
to both Hisham and the Dato Paduka Katak

Tan Sri : Of all people ? They never made sense ???

Datuk : Have to Datuk. Hisham had not sheathed his kris since unsheathing it some years ago. So, it'll
help him a lot if we can make him bath his kris with Ambiga shit and subsequently put his kris at
peace. Be that as it may, you'd also have to engage the Frog. You cannot shut him from his well intent
plan to confront the timid Ambiga crowd. Lest, he lost his tirade and cannot convince the Pasir Mas
folks to go on laughing at his foolish jokes.

Tan Sri : Enough of this nonsense. If I go on listening to you I'd also have to talk to KJ. He's doing his level best
to convince us that he's still relevant by not only going to organize a third force, but also by trying to be
hero in not doing anything despite the Flotila ship sabotage in the Greek Port.

Datuk : Well..... I have tried........ !!!

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written by Aria, July 05, 2011 14:31:13

What do we do with these Indian and Chinese dogs who are traitors to Malaysia and their community? Unless these current dogs are punished, other selfish greedy dogs will keep coming out.

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written by Super Admin, July 05, 2011 13:15:50

englandmaripunya, I thought this article was actually whacking the Malays -- unless you don't understand English well.

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written by sang kancil, July 05, 2011 12:59:36

Typical, another dUMNO stooge. stupid tamil

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written by mukhan, July 05, 2011 12:44:09

The Tamilian will not Support Mis Ambiga Sugamaran because see is Malaysian Malayalee good day Salam

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written by Raja Kim, July 05, 2011 12:36:11

Could any M.T readers who know this guy and put up his picture, need to throw shit on his face the next time happen to meet him.

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written by hellosunshine, July 05, 2011 12:32:56

Hey! Damn good idea, RPK. I was wondering how to emigrate to another developed country and leave Bolehland to these lanuns. Why don't all of us who want to emigrate join Ambiga and get those idiots to revoke our citizenship? We can then get accepted by USA, Australia, NZ, UK etc on political refugee status. Some more got money and housing provided too. Mr Najis, can you promise to revoke our citizenship, pretty please?

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written by Bellboy263, July 05, 2011 12:03:30

Who is this guy Kalai Varnar? Expose more of him. You don't even deserve to lick the feet of Ambiga. Don't talk for the Indians in Malaysia. We are not with you and you don't represent us Bodoh Kalai go lick the feet and ass of your kind TUN MAHASHIT

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written by mukhan, July 05, 2011 11:54:45

Hi RPK good day to you salam

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written by mukhan, July 05, 2011 11:53:11

The Tamilian talk about good in for Tampel or Tamil School only go and see Sir Lanka man never change

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written by Bellboy263, July 05, 2011 11:37:42

We all know the ones called bullshit Dato, Tan Sri, or whatever are JESTERs.

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written by Pegasus, July 05, 2011 11:32:32

Comedy sight of Pete....

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written by bambooman, July 05, 2011 11:31:49

Junior Inspector of Bukit D'Aman :- Chief Inspector, can Ibrahim Ali of Perkasa be "lock-up" for sedition ?
Chief Inspector : No, we can't ....becos the lock-up will be full of shit !
Junior Insp. : What about we deport him by air ?
Chief Insp. : No, we will pollute the air that we breathe !
Junior Insp. : How about throwing him into the sea ?
Chief Insp. : Then we will have to eat shit ! ! ! !

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written by AlwaysFair, July 05, 2011 11:19:34

Very good strategy!!

Hide behind the king!!!
These communist sympathisers deserve to be arrested!!
These people threaten me so much they force my hand... no the police is in charge here!!!

Use the tamils to persecute Ambiga.
Use a christian man to make a police report on another christain.
Use the body-guards to eliminate the mongolian problem.

In chinese proverb this is called," Borrow the knife to kill people."

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written by englandmaripunya, July 05, 2011 10:57:49

Dear fellow Malaysians

This generally applies to comments across many articles in MT. When are you going to stop racial insults just because the wrong doer is of a particular ethnicity? You seem to be anti racism anti UMNO and all that but have no reservation when wacking Keralites, Indian Muslims and Tamils. Wouldn't you risk alienating those who are on your side? I personally know many of them who are of exceptional character and support the cause whole heartedly. Aren't you a hipocrite because you are just like Perkasa but whacking a different ethnicity.

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written by Concerned_Citizen, July 05, 2011 10:56:10

So Alternative Action Team president, B. Kalai Vanar is talking c**k in Tamil!

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written by c**ktalk, July 05, 2011 10:48:25

this man is a disgrace to his community.

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written by SoundMan, July 05, 2011 09:42:55

My family thought I was going bonkers at last..I was laughing so hard ! Great to have this much fun...RPK.

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written by Bangkok Warrior, July 05, 2011 09:15:38

" IS BERSIH A DIRTY WORD?"

a letter from tourists...

We have just finished a wonderful holiday in Malaysia. Except for a few
things, like the toilets and the drivers, it was great. The people are
friendly and helpful. The food is quite exciting and the country is
spectacular.

There was one incident, which caused us no concern and no problem, but
left us more than a little baffled.

We were in the Chow Kit area buying some things to take home when we
found some shirts with “BERSIH 2” onthem. We asked the man what the word
meant and he said “clean”.

So, we bought some. They were good quality and cheap. As we were leaving
the stall area we were approached by a man who warned us not to wear the
shirts or we would be in trouble with the police.

We went back to our hotel thinking that we misheard the man at the stall who
sold us the shirts and that bersih must be a very dirty word. So we asked the
concierge and he told us it meant “clean”. We were confused.

At dinner that night, we struck up a conversation with the people at the
next table. We raised the matter with them. They told us the shirts
represented a call to the people and Government for clean and fair
elections. They also told us that people wearing the shirts are being
locked up without trial for waging war against the King. They explained
that the Government and some people were against free and fair elections.

Fair enough, it is not our country. What we still do not understand is
why the King would be against free and fair elections because he is not
elected. Our friends warned us that even talking about free and fair
elections could land us in gaol.

Perhaps the government could put signs at the airport warning travellers
that bersih is a dirty word in Malaysia and that the King and Government
are against free and fair elections. In this way, no one will make a
mistake that could land them in trouble.

> Doug and Helen White,
> Flinders Park,
> South Australia

+317

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written by earthman, July 05, 2011 09:03:59

I was excited and thought you were going to tell us how you chase Marina round and round the mulberry bush before catching her and ................................. ? Aiya , what a let down.

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written by Fart Fart Wah, July 05, 2011 08:56:53

The marther of A holes has to deport 2 million Indons and others who have crawled in here because UMNOBIGDOgs have let it be..for votes by giving them free MYKAD...B. Kalai Vanar THE MARTHER A HOLE should check to see that the elctoral process is really clean for himself otherwise as an opposition in the coming election he may lose by 20 votes..makahai!! where he should be making noise he is not..abotu delineation and unfair polls..shuff a tosai and some italis up his you know where and he will be satisfied..

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written by jalanday, July 05, 2011 08:46:21

Aiya vely confusing la Blader! Between the Tan Slee and the laduk, who is actually the meter reader ah? If one is a meter reader, I guess the other one must be the tamil. Light or long! Ah ah ah!!! Solly ah, I came from the malay medium.

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written by arazak, July 05, 2011 08:17:56

Ha,ha,ha,. . .. I have to keep aside my nasi lemak sambal kerang until I finish reading this. Oh no, not this time, not again. . ., I am not going to spill my nasi lemak again on the keyboard. Ha, ha, ha, ha. . .!

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written by NSTPravda, July 05, 2011 07:50:13

Read lah you Oafs 1My Qur'4n swearing pink pouting lips smilies/kiss.gif

: Trust this Renegade PK to make light of a very ~~heavy~~ serious matter. My final solutions are diabolically simple i.e we buy her or we bury her. Both are 1My true and tried methods and the AG, PDRM, PIG, ATM, UMNO, UTK, MACC, judiciary, UMNO are all $olidly behind this wi$dom, 1My being Al-Najis Al-Montathar, the Cho$en One. This wretched woman will be divinely deemed unreasonable if she doesn't accept one of the options.... voila! $emua-nya OK!

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written by syd, July 05, 2011 07:45:30

Aiyaah! why so difficult.
revoke ambiga citizenship and give her refugee status.
Then send her to Australia with the new exchange mechanism, where usless and unproductive refugees are sent to malaysia, while the skillful and productive ones gets to go to australia. She will be forever grateful in the land of plenty and thank her lucky stars that malaysia is administered by morons.

+127

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written by Apek, July 05, 2011 07:38:09

I wonder whether these fellows and the Meter Reader from Melaka have read the constitution on citizenship? I do not think you can revoke someone's citizenship just because you don't like her face. What they are asking for is un-constitutional.... but then again.....

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written by Kaneeneh, July 05, 2011 07:16:51

AIyah RPK, you sure can write, comedy, too.

Precisely

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written by singhkris, July 05, 2011 06:52:18

We need to have this translated into BM and send to the meter reader in Melaka. But then meter reader's brains can only take so much and no more. So he might still not understand. So the only way to make the point is ask: Ini lu punya bapa punya negri eh?

He is the who always wants to strip citizens of their citizenship.