Charade of the titled personages

By Dina Zaman, The Star

If buying a title, be it Datuk or Tan Sri, would help one’s work flourish, why not, especially if one does not come from a pedigreed family.

IN THIS city called Kuala Lumpur, the appearance of being titled, bejeweled and wealthy is a matter of life and death to many.

Friendships are bought, and because we are idiotic and want so much to be seen with the right friends and make money along the way, we acquiesce to this.

I know of many glittering social stars hocked up in debt right up to the sky, but because there is a need for “society” we turn a blind eye.

The new rich and social climbers have no time to be embarrassed, they have social heights to scale. Old money can only shake its head at the antics of newcomers.

Some time last year, a trip to Indonesia turned into an anthropological trip, an insight into how dreams of being titled play on an ordinary man’s and his wife’s mind. It was extraordinary to say the least.

I did visit Borobudur and Solo, but my holiday was taken up with observing Malaysians buying their datukship gleefully.

It would seem in Solo that titles like “Datuk” and “Tan Sri” could be bought, and payment for these illustrious name decorations was reasonable.

A first level Datukship would cost RM20,000. The ceiling rate was RM50,000. The money did not go into the Solo Royal kitties, but instead went towards the royal households and staff.

Yours truly and her little group of aunts and cousins were somehow swept into this entourage, and for the next two days, we witnessed some Malaysians enter society.

It was the most bizarre holiday I had ever witnessed. I had expected to clamber about Borobudur … and our group was adopted by this circus.

I came home with photos of these “titled” personages in their uniforms, and my father, being very familiar with Federal and State protocol, howled and hooted at the charade.

“He can’t wear that, that’s a Federal suit! You don’t wear the sash that way, oh my God! This is a joke! Ha ha ha! These poor sods!”

During dinner that night, my family and I discussed the phenomenon. How could a person walk and demand respect with a title he bought for himself and his wife? Were people that thick-skinned?

But, my dear reader, some people do not have shame, and they can sleep at night. What would keep them up at night is not being accepted into society.

I had a conversation with one of these ambitious types recently. He told me, I didn’t understand. To have a title in Malaysia means his business dealings would ease greatly, and if buying one would help his work flourish, why not?

After all, nothing comes free, not in KL at least. It is not just family and connections, and the smarts of course, it is also the title. Especially when one does not have a pedigreed family to begin with.

For all my seeming modernity, I am a great believer that success and acceptance are earned. You do not buy your way into anything.

However, I am constantly reminded these days that money and status are the cachets to friendships, professional or not.

You can be a cheat and conman, but if you have all the accoutrements, as I said earlier, Malaysians being Malaysians like to be fooled. It’s so much easier than dealing with the truth.

When I am not working or writing, I like to sit back and observe. I also have very sharp ears, so I hear many things.

Sometimes it is good to be a mousy writer, people do not see you as threatening, and they let their guard down. They may even be condescending to you, but it is all right by you.

You are somewhat sympathetic: when you have so little and have had to scrabble your way up, you’re entitled to your dreams.

You could have been mocked at when young and poor, and you feel vindicated as an adult, for all your hard work is now rewarded with a bought title.

Or, married into it. Ah yes. For women it is slightly easier. Feign some interest in an ambitious man and marry him. Throw in the obligatory Botox, and you are set for life, “Datin”.

Still, I do want to know how a man or woman can live with himself for having bought a title. How do they go through the days and nights knowing, that truly, they are not deserving of these titles?

They have not served the country or state. They have not served the Malaysian people. But I always have to remind myself; people do not have shame, and they can sleep well at night.

After this piece, the writer will definitely not be allowed to visit Solo again!