The different notions, beliefs make us great

By Koh Lay Chin (NST)

ONE can't go far without listening to talk or debate about 1Malaysia, 15Malaysia, or One Million Malaysia these days. It's easy to feel wary or unexcited about concepts or slogans, especially when they come from the powers that be, and especially when there is a feeling that it is all polished for publicity's sake.

But all Malaysians have experienced firsthand the disparities of "oneness" or "a thousand and one". On a personal level, I have had arguments with loved ones about comments I have deemed as racist, sexist, illiberal or xenophobic.

There could be that relative who is so conservative you shake with disbelief at what he dare only profess to "his kind" or people he trusts. They are the friends who you sometimes have to snap at when they make references or jokes that infuriate you.

They are those who say things about religion, race or rights that offend you because you have other loved ones who would be offended.

I once yelled at a close friend, telling him that if he were to even whisper certain things I deemed unacceptable again, I would "make sure that in the future you will not be let around my kids". He was shocked, said sorry, but later told me he thought I was being a bit too sensitive.

These are people close to you, or related to you by blood, and you want nothing more than for them to share your views or feelings about issues, but perhaps they will not.

But you try to understand where they are coming from, because sometimes, well, that is what you do when you love family and friends. Even if sometimes you feel like clobbering them on the head.

Over a year ago in Paris, my old friend Rony (who has since died from liver cancer) was talking about his feelings on the debilitating strikes in the French city, and what he thought about immigrant workers coming from the rest of Europe.

His opinions, frankly, were conservative and right-leaning, and probably similar to other white-collared workers like him in their late 60s, who found the strikes and immigrants a bother to their movements and jobs in the city.

I was with a British university mate, a staunch leftist, who was obviously not too impressed by Rony's views. I was totally unprepared though, for what I felt were some verbal attacks on my old friend, who had some hearing problems and could not really keep up with what the younger chap was saying.

Rony didn't get the attacks. But I did. And though I didn't want to lash out and confuse or disturb Rony, who carried on talking, I was infuriated. But how do you defend views that you yourself do not agree on? It wasn't because I thought my leftist friend's comments were baloney. They were right as rain.

I was fuming because I thought he was rude to my silver-haired friend, the Asian in me frustrated that politeness and deference to those older than you had been thrown out the window.

I was angry because my younger friend did not attempt to understand where Rony was coming from, that even if he was old, Asian, and conservative, his views were his, and shaped by his own experiences.

 

Back here in Malaysia, sensitivities about various issues are rife, more so because of our diversity.

Recently, there was a virtual slugfest on Ridhuan Tee Abdullah for his controversial comments on Teoh Beng Hock's unborn child.

He was called all sorts of names and condemned for his views, which mostly stem from his own strict Islamic beliefs. For sure, his choice for a topic was most inappropriate and in bad taste at a time where Teoh's family was just (and still) dealing with their great grief.

But most of the attacks on him were harsh and dirty, triggering a second wave of those who defended him and his religious beliefs. If there were to be objections, it would have been more conducive to argue them without tearing apart his own personal religiosity or conservative views.

There are shades of grey when it comes to liberal and conservative views on sexuality, spirituality and individual freedoms. Many of us have friends we think are liberal, but who may not believe in gay rights or partnerships, for example. Some believe in the dual syariah/civil laws in our country but are against moral policing.

Malaysians have some way to go when balancing this diversity, and while we have yet to truly embrace Voltaire's famous line "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it", at least sometimes, some people try.

We are also still, like the rest of the world, meandering through what is legitimate opinion or comment, and what could be deemed slanderous or what would incite hatred.

But that's the beauty of our country, that we are all at once 1Malaysia, 15Malaysia and 26 Million Malaysia. I do not believe in bashing things just because they sound corny or politically polished. If the concept is sound, it is sound.

We are different, but we are one. We are different, but we stick up for each other. That is what we do when we love family and friends. I believe fully in all these different numbers, notions and beliefs about Malaysia. It is a kaleidoscope of complications. It is a big splash of fascinating. It is what makes us great. Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka.