It’s a matter of civility and etiquette

Malaysians have a lot to learn about the concept of agreeing to disagree. Today, I am bitterly opposed to Najib. But I still give him the respect due to him although I whack him to kingdom come. And I have told Najib’s brother that I quite like the man although I am opposed to him and will not slow down on the Altantuya issue.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

When I write, I always refer to Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim as just Anwar Ibrahim (the Umno Blogs call him BABI, though, short for Brother Anwar Bin Ibrahim). But when I meet Anwar face-to-face I address him as ‘Datuk Seri’.

And the same goes for all those others who hold Datuk, Datuk Seri or Tan Sri titles as well — whether they are from the ruling party, the opposition, or the head of the police like Musa Hassan. When I write, I refer to them by their names. I even refer to Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak as Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak, without the ‘Datuk Seri’ title (although I don’t drop the ‘Tun’ in his father’s name and add ‘Prime Minister’ in front of his name).

This has been my normal practice. Friends and foes alike are referred to by their names without their Tan Sri, Datuk Seri or Datuk titles. Tunku Abdul Rahman is referred to simply as ‘the Tunku’. That is because there is only one First Prime Minister of Malaysia and he is fondly called ‘the Tunku’ by all and sundry.

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi asked to be called Pak Lah. So, in keeping with his wishes, I refer to him as Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, the first time he is mentioned, and thereafter as Pak Lah whenever I further mention his name in that same article. As for the others such as Tun Razak Hussein, Tun Hussein Onn and Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, I always include the ‘Tun’ in their names the first time I mention them and thereafter I refer to them just by their names.

In short, only the ‘Tun’, the highest title in the land, gets mentioned while all other ‘lower’ titles need no mentioning. But when I am talking to them then I address them by their titles. This is proper etiquette and the most civilised thing to do, even if they are ‘the enemy’.

When I met Tunku Rahman on his 80th birthday celebration in the Park Royal Hotel in Kuala Lumpur back in the 1980s, I kissed his hand in spite of the fact I was opposed to him and felt that he could have done more for this country but did not. And I also kiss Dr Mahathir’s hand whenever I happen to meet him face-to-face, as I would any ex-prime minister of Malaysia and someone who is much older to me.

Heck, I even refer to MGG Pillai as Mister Pillai and I address him so when I am talking to him face-to-face. He is Mister to me because he is older than me. And he used to address me as just Petra and not as Raja or Tengku whenever we met, which was quite often before he died.

I acknowledge the status and age of the ex-Prime Ministers of Malaysia, even the ones I don’t like. And I give them the respect due to them. We can disagree with these people on the basis of ideology and principle. But that does not take away the fact that they hold a certain position in our community plus the fact that they are older than us. And because of that we must conduct ourselves in a certain manner when in their presence and give them due respect befitting their age.

This probably makes me ‘old Malay’. And I mean old in values rather than in age when I say this. Therefore, garlanding Dr Mahathir with slippers is not something I would do, never mind what I may think of him.

My friends are extremely puzzled as to why I appear to give Dr Mahathir that amount of respect. They would imagine after what happened to me at the hands of Dr Mahathir during the Reformasi years I would spew insults on the man.

Sure, I was probably one of those who opposed Dr Mahathir bitterly. And I paid for that by getting arrested and one month later getting detained under the Internal Security Act back in 2001. “So why have I not demanded my pound of flesh?” ask my very confused friends.

Malaysians have a lot to learn about the concept of agreeing to disagree. Today, I am bitterly opposed to Najib. But I still give him the respect due to him although I whack him to kingdom come. And I have told Najib’s brother that I quite like the man although I am opposed to him and will not slow down on the Altantuya issue.

Does this sound strange? How can I like Najib yet in the same breath swear to bring him down? Well, I never said I was not a strange person.

Once, when Khairy Jamaluddin walked into the room and came over to my table, I stood up and offered him a seat. And I did not sit down until he had first sat down. You would imagine that after what I had written about him we would have come to blows rather than sit and smoke cigars together and engage in a matured and gentlemanly two hours discussion on the Malaysian political scene.

His Highness the Sultan of Selangor is my cousin, twice removed. Tuanku’s father, the late Agong, and my late father were cousins. The late Agong referred to my late father as ‘Abang Din’ (meaning ‘Elder Brother Din’ – Din is short for Kamarudin). Tuanku’s grandfather was the younger brother to my grandmother. That was why my late father was ‘abang’ to the late Agong.

In that sense that makes His Highness the present Sultan of Selangor my adek (younger brother) as well. But Tuanku does not call me ‘abang’. First of all he is the Sultan, so he is higher in rank than me. Plus, our ages are almost the same, maybe only three years or so difference in age. Therefore, I call him ‘Tuanku’ and he calls me Petera.

When my late father went into conflict with the late Agong, my father reminded the Agong that he (my father) is abang while Tuanku is adek (actually, that was how the conflict started). So Tuanku had better not forget that. Invariably, my father was dropped from the palace ‘protocol list’ and never again received an invitation to the palace till the day he died. In fact, the Agong did not even attend my father’s funeral although he was buried in the Royal Mausoleum in Kelang.

I know the Sultan of Selangor is very upset with me for mentioning this a few months ago in one of my articles. But that is a fact of history, which can never change however you may wish to rewrite history. And I also know that the Sultan whacked me in the presence of many senior Selangor government officials, the Menteri Besar and EXCO members included. My nemesis the IGP was also there and he was smiling away with delight just like the cat that had swallowed the canary to see me get whacked in public by no less than the Sultan himself.

I disagree with what the Sultan did. I have, in fact, never forgotten or forgiven Tuanku and his late father for ‘boycotting’ my father’s funeral. But he is the Sultan, as was his father before him, and I ‘allow’ him that prerogative of demonstrating his displeasure against one of his subjects even if that subject is senior to you. And my late father is a subject of the Sultan of Selangor. I even have his old certificate to prove it.

I received a command, a royal command, through my family. And that royal command was to apologise to the Sultan of Perak on what I wrote about the Perak Constitutional Crisis that resulted in the collapse of the Pakatan Rakyat state government. If I refuse to do that then the family would insert full-page advertisements in the mainstream newspapers chiding me for my actions, which the family regards as treason.

In Malaysia, treason is punishable by death, as what happened to the Al Maunah crowd who were found guilty of treason against the Agong and subsequently hanged. For a member of the royal family, treason against the Ruler is punishable by banishment from the state. In the past, many members of the royal family, a few Sultans included, were banished from the state and sent into exile on various islands in the Indian Ocean where they would end their sorry days.

In fact, if you were to read the history of our National Anthem, Negaraku, you will know that this song was 'created' by the Sultan of Perak who was then living in exile in the Seychelles.

As I said, I am ‘old Malay’. And ‘old Malays’ do not garland people with slippers. And as I have displeased the Ruler and since the family has labelled me a penderhaka, someone who has committed treason, then I accept the punishment for treason befitting a member of the family. I do not condemn the Sultan and call him binatang (like what Umno Terengganu did) or garland his picture with slippers.

MIC should have taken action immediately, not only after the brouhaha and only after it looked like Samy Vellu needed to engage in damage control. The action that MIC has just taken is too little, too late. The damage has already been done. MIC must learn how to agree to disagree with proper etiquette and protocol.

MIC has demonstrated biadap (insolence). Suspending the member who committed the offence many days later is too little, too late.