To The Cabinet On The Eve of Eid

ARCHIVES 2009

By admin-s On Sep 18, 2009

By The Red Pencil

Dear Ministers (Prime or Otherwise),

Due to the fact that we are approaching the eve of Raya, my kiasu self forgives you in advance. I may not be the best Muslim by your standards, in fact, some may even say my entire family should be whipped for our contrarian practices that incidentally, should you care to investigate, do not, to my limited knowledge, contravene the Holy Quran. Yes, despite what your ulamas in your halo-ed Religious Department may say.

First, I forgive you for your gross incompetence. It is a travesty that you did not have enough control over the corrupt officials and shadowmen involved in the PKFZ scandal to ensure the damning papers were not leaked. I think this is a matter of extreme concern as it indicates a gaping hole in your security measures. What more when one of you in prime position used to be the Defence Minister. You better put this on your post-Raya to-do list pronto. Ini masaalah besar ni, ish, ish ish.

Second, I forgive you for not realizing that Noordin the terrorist is not a member of PAS. Yes, the latter can be rehabilitated without the necessity of resorting to murder. After all, you have already demonstrated the ability to do so successfully, by “turning” some of these fundamentalist elements over to your National Front. Naturally, it was not wrong for you assume the same could have been done with Noordin. Your intelligence agency has gravely misinformed you in this matter and should be severely punished. Maybe the police could advise you on a suitable way to drive the message home. I have heard C4 is very effective.

Third, I also forgive you for not knowing that rape is a crime. Unlike you, most of us Malaysians do not have hidden agendas when we report break-ins to our homes, our wallets being snatched, out mothers and daughters being raped and oh, our children being snatched, trafficked and murdered. And yes, we do expect the police to do something beyond just coming round the scene of the crime and leaving their fingerprints all over the window sill. You see, many of us watch CSI. We know how these things work these days.

As a concerned citizen, I wish to point out that all of the above leave me with only one conclusion: you are working under extreme duress, incapacitated by a coterie of inefficient civil servants who have little interest in your 1Malaysia agenda and are only out to reap as much personal benefit as they can under your administration. They have misinformed you, caused much embarrassment to your administration and even misled you into thinking certain heinous crimes are not serious enough for the consideration of the country’s respected leaders. In the private sector, this sort of behaviour is not tolerated, much less rewarded with an RM500 festive bonus. (Come to think of it, you better have a chat with your folks in Human Resources too).

Being that it is the eve of Raya, I, however, do not want you to fret too much. Don’t ruin your holidays, because this too, like all things, shall pass. In fact, I am feeling so magnanimous this festive season, I have decided to reward you, despite your shortcomings. So, not to worry, come the next election, I will do my best to relieve you of your burdens of leadership, so you may rest in relative peace with all the fruits of your hard-earned labour.