The Absolute Real Truth (according to MACC)

By Hakim Joe

First we have MACC declaring that TBH committed suicide after being officially released from them and that they have nothing to do with the former witness’s sudden (not suspect) decision to jump out from a window. That TBH’s cell phone was still in MACC’s possession was never really a matter for concern. What’s a little discriminating detail after all?

Then we have the many Buatan-Malaysia pathologists that swear in a Court of Law that there is a very high possibility that MACC’s learned verdict (although with zero medical background) is accurate, to the point and true. That TBH was getting married within the next few days was never really a reason for him not to abruptly contemplate suicide. “He was poor”… 

Then we have the many MACC investigators cum interrogators that heard nothing, let alone saw something. No, TBH was never manhandled as all MACC officers are professionals, they avowed. No, TBH was fine and dandy after being interrogated as a witness all through the night, they affirmed. No, TBH was officially released between 6 and 7 in the morning, they confirmed. That TBH was allowed to sleep on the couch in MACC’s premises after being released rather than driving home, and that he never got his cell phone back are not the pertinent questions here. This is a procedural review, spelt R-E-V-I-E-W, not an inquest, they said. 

Newly scruffed shoes and recently torn pants and belt? Broken window latch? Stains on the stairs? Never seen them before and therefore know nothing of them, says MACC. TBH was as good as new when he walked out the door, says MACC. That’s true, say the Buatan-Malaysia pathologists. We are 90% complete in our investigations, says the PDRM. Those attributes as revealed above are of no consequential to the investigation, says MACC’s attorney. TBH committed suicide, says corruption-free dentist extraordinaire Khir Toyo from his alleged 30 million dollar half-built mansion. Woof-woof-ruff. Wooofff-rrrrr-woof-wooffff, echoed all of BN’s members (translated to “TBH committed suicide. MACC is not involved”). 

The people wanted a Royal Commission of Inquiry to properly investigate this fatal incident. The government gave them a Review (with limited terms of reference). Bounce…bounce…and suddenly we have a learned judge sitting in a court. Bounce…bounce…and hereafter are lined up the Buatan-Malaysia pathologists, all ready with their script. Bounce…bounce…and here comes the PDRM investigators, “we are (still) 90% complete in our investigations”. 

So what if some MACC people knew of the real occurrence and decide to write in anonymously (on MACC letterhead which obviously one can obtain in any street corner) to reveal the truth? Not admissible, says the learned judge. “No Show (up in court), No Go” he says, “And PDRM need not investigate legality of letter”. End of subject. Full (bloody) stop. Finito, comprendo? 

Then came the “I have so and so many years of experience” chemist that said that there is a very tiny remote possibility that the hypothetical theory and probability of TBH not committing suicide is infinitesimal small. Into court went a professional chemist and out came a palm-reader (or was it tea leaves in a cup)? Malaysian public servants never cease to amaze the combined intelligence of the Rakyat. 

(Drum roll please…) Dr Porntip Rojanasunan made an appearance and her verdict was that TBH was murdered (80%) as opposed to committing suicide (20%). Additionally, TBH was beaten on the head and the buttocks, forcibly sodomized, strangled unconscious and dragged to the window before being thrown out of the building. 

“Not true” says MACC, “TBH must have beaten himself senselessly (and very quietly) on the head and on his own buttocks, deliberately tear off his pants and belt, sodomized himself, strangled himself, dragged himself before breaking the window latch on his way out of the window”.  

“Woof-woof-ruff. Wooofff-rrrrr-woof-wooffff”, so said the authorities. 

The real question now remains whether the coroner permits an exhumation of TBH’s body for a second autopsy by Dr Porntip Rojanasunan. 

“Woof-woof-ruff. Wooofff-rrrrr-woof-wooffff.”