Shadow Play & Shadow Boxing
After tedious investigations, the two ministries, Defence and Home have finally succeeded in dragging ‘two little Indians’ to mask (or is it expose) the weaknesses of our armed forces.
By Utuh Paloi
Congratulations Datuk Seri Zahid Hamidi for inserting another character into the wayang kulit saga. ‘Syabas’ Dato’ Seri Hishamuddin for spicing up the cookies.
The prosecutors and the judiciary have to queue in line before you get my compliments.
After tedious investigations, the two ministries, Defence and Home have finally succeeded in dragging ‘two little Indians’ to mask (or is it expose) the weaknesses of our armed forces. If I were the Prime Minister, I will refrain from prosecuting the two ‘thieves’ but instead accord them ‘Bumiputera’ status and enlist both into UMNO. Appoint them as senators and then Minister of Trade and Minister of Tourism.
You may think that I am nuts to suggest rewarding criminals. You think so? No, I am not. It is simply a solemn reminder of the culture deeply ingrained, and widely practiced by the existing Government. If the law is applied equally irrespective of creed, colour and positions, many politicians, be it past or presence would have had experience of life behind bars.
The ‘two little Indians’ are very ingenious people. They are smarter than the Colonels and the Generals and way smarter than their immediate superiors. While the officers are deeply engrossed in improving their handicaps in the golf courses, or looking into mirrors adjusting the stars and crowns on their shoulders, these two are hard at work cracking their grey matter to market what is virtually scrap metal. Not only that, they have to spend days and weeks devising plans to breach the security of the RMAF depot.
Their achievements are inconceivable. Only a handful has the uncanny ability of turning wastes into gold. Very few rank and files can turn colonels and generals into a bunch of clowns.
Appointing them as Minister of Trade and Tourism is the most appropriate. The primary tasks of these two portfolios are basically sales related. Our Proton cars are marketed cheaper overseas than in our own yards. If they can sell scrap metals for RM 50 million a piece, then it’s no big deal for them to market brand new Proton cars overseas. Similarly, as Tourism Minister, he can sell Malaysia without the need to spend millions in advertisements.
Let’s do a little bit of primary school arithmetic. After browsing through the internet, the cost per unit of F5E was USD 2.1 million, and that was in the eighties when the exchange rate was hovering in the region of RM 2.5 for every US Dollar. Multiply the two, we get a sum of RM 5.25 million. That was for a new unit, lock, stock and barrel.
Since time immemorial, I could not recall the time when machines appreciate better than homes. All these years, I was made to understand that generally, machines depreciate at a rate of 15 percent per annum. Taking that into considerations, it is hard for me to comprehend how used aircraft can fetch higher price than new. Perhaps the engines of the F5E sold to Malaysia were made of solid gold laced with diamonds.
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