Hindraf, Freud and Psychology
This write-up tries to go into the psychology of the cheated party. It is not easy to feel cheated. The aggrieved party is often in denial. To accept that one has been cheated is to accept that one is a fool. Therefore a funny dichotomy takes place.
By batsman
This is the case of the beautiful Hindraf love affair, a romantic but sad tale of love gone wrong. For those without a romantic bone in their body, they may look upon it as a classic lesson in psychology of relationships.
For over 50 years, there was hope, trust and complete faith. Nothing came close to pure beauty of the relationship. But again for those without any romantic bones, they may look upon it as over 50 years of long term painful investments in the hope of suitable returns.
The returns never came. Those who are familiar with dancing, it takes 2 to tango. Those who are familiar with relationships, both parties must have mutual respect and mutual trust. However, if one party has no respect for the other and is an irascible cheat, the stage for a tragedy of humongous proportions is set. If UMNO is a party of murderous romeos and cheats, then the die is cast for a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.
This write-up tries to go into the psychology of the cheated party. It is not easy to feel cheated. The aggrieved party is often in denial. To accept that one has been cheated is to accept that one is a fool. Therefore a funny dichotomy takes place.
On the one hand, there is complete distrust and anger with everyone else. The cheated party turns into a porcupine with sharp spines ready to poke everyone in the eye. This is the result of trusting someone for over 50 years and finding he is a cheat. This is the result of the extreme pain of betrayal. The mind is ready to inflict equal pain on everyone else. Distrust of everyone else is also extreme and the cheated party now demands that anyone who claims to be a friend must prove it by committing suicide or some other extreme gesture.
On the other hand, the hope that it is after all a misunderstanding lingers on. The cheated party is in denial and retains the hope that after all, there was no cheating and the prodigal lover will one day return into the arms of the ever hopeful and the ever loyal. This way dignity is retained and the ego does not suffer as much.
But I think it is fat hopes. One must look at the character of the cheating party objectively to realize that there is no hope of reconciliation. The cheating is permanent and if ever there is reconciliation, it is just setting the stage for more cheating in future. After all, cheats who use C4 and judges and policemen who abuse their power can be said to have a permanently bad and sinful character.
But the tragedy continues. The pain becomes a permanent fixation. The torture is continuous. This is because the cheated party has been badly traumatized and will not trust anybody anymore. All relationships whether with potential or not is badly influenced by the original cheating. The cheated party does not have the capacity to form meaningful relationships with new partners anymore. So the pain continues and the hurt continues. The future is bleak.
So Hindraf – do you want to start a fresh life by putting the tragic past behind you or do you want the pain to continue by allowing your old master to continue to inflict pain upon you?
