Sex please, we are Malaysians!
Art Harun
Let’s face it. Malaysians are a sex-crazed lot. Period.
Just take a look at the Tongkat Ali adverts all over the place. Tongkat Ali coffee. Tongkat Ali tea. Tongkat Ali isotonic drinks. Tongkat Ali toothpaste. Yes. Even the toothpaste does not escape the Tongkat Ali treatment.
Then we have the “last longer” adverts and fliers being stuck on whatever “stickable surface” wherever and whenever available, whether dulu, kini or selamanya. “Ubat tahan lama”, followed by the phone number to be dialed. That’s the usual tag.
With all these exhortations, small wonder that many Muslims in Malaysia desire to marry more than one. Some even married another one without the consent of the first one thereby incurring jail sentence and fines. This is what I call “the leakage marriage”, where the second marriage would make the man’s pocket leak. Some even destroyed his marriage certificate in order to conceal the second marriage. Some claimed (in fact it was the same guy who destroyed the certificate) that he did not know that he was getting married the second time. HUahahAHa…
Thus it came as no surprise when our Tokoh Nilam of the year proclaimed that he keeps fit and energetic by reading some stuffs with his wife and have sex every night. None other than the Star reported this yesterday.
I just love the title. “Award-winning teacher’s secret – reading and sex.”
Like, tawdally “WOW”!!
Reading the title, I was thinking that this award-winning teacher – our Tokoh Mempelam whatever – had managed to unlock the mystery of meta-universe by unifying the principles of quantum mechanics with that of ultimate ensemble.
Or at the very least, he had uncovered the secret to making the students more alert and attentive in classes by having sex while also reading at the same time. But no. The guy was actually being interviewed after he had been awarded the Tokoh Nilam award, a state award to “honour a teacher who has managed outstanding achievements in education.”
That this utter nonsense managed to appear in the Star shows what we really are. We are as shallow as our arm pit!
I could just imagine. Just after Minister Idris Jala announced that Malaysia would go bankrupt in 2019 if subsidies were not cut and after him extolling the benefits of subsidy cutting – just after he pointed out that our national debt would equal to our GDP by 2019 and that 15.3% of the government expenditures go towards subsidies – a reporter from the Star would ask him (in tawdally yankee doo-dle-dy accent) :
Reporter : “Meestder Ministder, how did you arrive at this tawdally awesome findin?”
Minister Idris : “I tell ya…I read every night with my wife in bed and have sex with her every night dude. That’s how I know.”
Reporter : “Tawdally, erm…like awesome…”
