Doomsday Bollocks

ARCHIVES 2011

By Aurora On Mar 13, 2011

By John Doe
The World is coming to an End !! Borrow ALL the money you can. Spend lavishly, and live a Luxurious life fully knowing that you never have to repay the Bank, FInance Companies or Ah Loong’s !!

In fact, the World “ended” many times before. It ended on Y2k, 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, this year and next year as well. It also ended in 1806, 1843, 1891, 1910, 1982, 1997 and 1999. Going back even further, “Failed Doomsdays” included the years 30, 60, 90, 200, 365, 370, 400, 500, 968, 992, 1,000, 1005, 1033, 1147, 1179, 1205, 1284, 1346, 1496, 1524, 1533, 1669, 1689, 1736, 1792, 1794, 1830, 1832, and 1890. Feel free to peruse “Failed Doomsday Predictions” on your favourite internet search engine. Above and beyond those dates, if one searches hard enough, it would practically have been every year or so since recorded history as some sort of Doomsday or another.

In the past, “Doomsday Messengers” would go around, and collect money from the gullible, have sex with the weak minded, be invited to some rich ass’s house for a lavish meal, and so on. The Planet was thus “spared”, because the peasants slaughtered enough chickens, goats, cows, and so on to appease the “Gods”, and were thus Doomsday was decidedly postponed. Doomsday Mongers would have also told you to look for “Special Shapes” in the clouds, which multitudes of people witnessed, and went home with all sorts of mixed feelings.

Yesterday’s vivid images of the multiple Tsunami’s Ravaging Japan would certainly be a good excuse for me to write a Doomsday Piece. Because, I guarantee you that it would have been the Main Topic for this morning’s Sunday Sermon. It was “Man’s Sin” which brings about damnation from an angry God. * sigh * The Mullah of Iran disagrees, and claims that earthquakes were caused by “Promiscuous and Sexy Dressing”, and all his “flock” were in deep awe, and many of them felt the “spirit” moving amongst them at this great revelation, and gave heartily to the donation bag which was dutifully passed around that day. It always amazes me how gullible people can be, in parting with their money. Maybe that’s why “Hello, I am Prince from Nigeria, wishing you help me to…” still works despite having first surfaced on the internet circa 20 years ago. There’s a sucker born every minute. And the best way, is to use some “Bronze Age backward belief-system” to do it, quoting Prof Dr. Richard Dawkins.

UMNO of course, will use the Buddhist teaching of “Life is suffering”, and have everyone believes in it, so that they alone can gobble up all the money, while instilling in everyone that “Money is the Root of all Evil”. It turns out that the regular civilians would live like a Pauper, while UMNO mongrels live like Kings.

There are still those who believe that the world was peaceful, and calm, and nothing but the Garden of Eden before. I will shatter that illusion for you today.

The Planet Earth was a ball of hot molten mass. There was no air, nor oxygen at the 13.5Billion year mark. It was one liquid mass. (Think Hell, and you will have a better idea) As the earth cooled down, it was still hot with volcanoes billowing every few days or so, much like as adolescent Teenager’s pimples. Speak to any Geologist and learn about how the Earth’s Poles got flipped a few thousand times during it’s history. The Magnetic Poles of the earth shift a few inches every single day. In fact, right now, it is somewhere over Wisconsin and shifts by 3 inches on a daily basis. And it just shifted again due to Japan’s Earthquake. This distance is nothing, because, it will shift all the way back to the South Pole , and back up to the North for a few more thousand times.

Speaking of the Poles, did you ever ask yourself why the North Pole AND the South Pole is so full of petrol? How is petrol formed? What life could possibly live at the Polar Ice Caps? Nothing? Yes, but it was not always nothing. Well, it turns out that the polar ice caps used to be lush tropic forests, there was plenty of living matter to die. Plants, Trees, animals and, over the Millions of years died, got compressed, and turned into Petrol. There is a reason why it’s called fossil fuel. It’s made from fossils. And fossils come from dead things. Fossils did not magically appear at the wave of a magic wand. “Let there be Fossils” is thus nonsensical.

Go to Petronas Twin Towers. Go to the Children’s Science Exhibit and read how Petrol was formed by dead living-matter which had died Millions of Years ago. Now we have a problem. The Bible tells us that the planet earth is only 6,500 years old. Therefore, Petronas must be lying then. OK. We also have Dinosaurs which lived 250 million years ago, and is prominently displayed in every reputable Museum. (That’s why Museum Negara has none) I guess all these museums must be lying as well.

Next, the Stars in the Sky. It takes 8 minutes for the light from our Sun to reach earth. In fact that is exactly how distances of stars are measured. One light year means that’s the time it takes for the light from the stars to reach our eyeballs. Let’s look at some of the distances of Stars, and one will immediately realize that the 6,500 Creation-year is very readily breached. Assuming that the Universe was created 6,500 years ago, one cannot even look outside of the Milky Way. Why? The Milky Way alone is 100,000 light years in diameter. Hang on, that makes it 94,000 years older than what the Bible says it is !! Astronomers are lying !

And if the entire Milky Way was approximately the size of a 10 cent coin, then, the Andromeda Galaxy is about 23 inches away, the Virgo Cluster of Galaxies is about 60 million light years or 600 inches away, and the nearest quasar, “3C273” is about 1.5 billion light years or 150,000 inches or a bit over 2 miles away.

The visible universe has a horizon at about 14 billion light years and the most distant galaxies seen by the Hubble Space Telescope are nearly at this limit at about 12-13 billion light years. This is about 15 – 20 miles away from the Milky Way ‘penny’ and is the farthest we can ever see. That’s about the distance of KL to Kajang, or twice the length of the Penang Bridge. (Mind you, the reference is that the entire Milky Way is the size of a ten cent coin)

Because our best model for the universe consistent with data is that it is infinite, then of course there is much more space even at the scale of our penny! In our scale model, though our horizon is at 20 miles from us, the rest of the currently unobservable universe stretches thousands or even millions of miles beyond the last ‘penny’ we can see. As the universe gets older, these more distant pennies will come into view, but of course we will see them as they were when they were much younger that the actually are.

I’d like to see Sunday School Teachers teach the children that Pulsars, Quasars, SuperNovas, Red Giants and Dwarf Stars NEVER existing, because all of them, are all older than 6,500 years old. In fact, the Blackhole at the very centre of the Milky Way should also not exist, because it is 26,000 light-years away. And that is 20,000 years “too old”. For the record, the nearest star, “Proxima Centauri”, from the Alpha Centauri System, is 4.2 light-years away. Meaning, that if this star blow up today, we will see it only 4.2 years later.

Speaking of Stars. What did God Promise Abraham? God promised Abraham that his family would grow to be more than the stars in the sky! So, God would not lie, would he (or she)? And how many children do we have on this planet at present? Just under 7 Billion people? Good. How many Jews? (because not all 7 Billion people on this planet are Jews) And how many stars does the Milky Way alone have? 200 Billion Stars, give or take, and the neighboring Andromeda Galaxy? Another 200 Billion Stars. That’s an easy 400 Billion already. And how many Galaxies are there? Billions (for the time being)!! And certainly far too many to even count !! Multiply Billion-Billion anything with Billion anything, and you will need some serious number-crunching algorithm-calculator to get those numbers.. (1 Billion=1thousand-Million)

Want to use the “Naked eye” argument for visible stars to count Abraham’s children instead? Sure, why not, since we’re at it. At most, 8,479 of them are visible from Earth. And roughly 2,500 stars are available to the unaided eye in ideal conditions from a single spot at any given time. So, no wonder the World “ended” so many times before, practically once every year (and sometimes a few times in a single year as well). So, unless and until God fulfills Abrahams’ promise, the end of the world is NOT near.

Do yourself a favour by visiting the Hubble-Telescope Website and deepen your general knowledge a little. It’s http://hubblesite.org/

And don’t let websites or phenomena like the cracking-earth-fear alarm you unnecessarily. Website reference:
http://thewatchers.adorraeli.com/2011/03/07/scientists-are-sounding-the-alarm-the-mysterious-cracks-appear-across-the-planet/

However, the End is REALLY drawing near. The Sun is in it’s mid-life stage right now – which means that our Sun is 5 Billion years old. She is a relatively “Young Star”. Now the Sun has to rearrange its internal structure all over again, as its source of energy is once again the central core. It will contract back to a bit larger than its original radius and will give off ten times as what we are used to now. This phase only lasts another 500 million years, as there are a lot fewer helium nuclei (it took four hydrogen nuclei to make one helium nucleus, and three helium nuclei to make up one carbon nucleus) and the energy production is much less efficient.

As it exhausts the helium in the core, the sun desperately staves off the inevitable by resorting again to those reserves in its outer layers. Again it expands. This time it grows so large that its outer edge is only weakly gravitationally bound to the core, barely holding itself together anymore. After another 100 million years, things will really start falling apart. The Sun’s outer layers, freed from the gravitational clutches of the core, will waft away. Over the course of about 10,000 years, these layers will spread out into space as an enormous sphere of gas lit up by the now naked hot core. These layers constitute a ‘planetary nebula’, so called because in a small telescope the gas cloud looks a bit like the disc of a planet. The hot core is now a ‘white dwarf’, a stellar cinder. As a white dwarf, the ex-Sun will glow white-hot for near a very long time.

Alas, there will be no dramatic explosions to entertain our distant descendants: the Sun, modest in life, is subdued in death. After the planetary nebula fades, there is no nuclear fusion at all, just a lump of hot soot and some happy memories. The Sun aka RA, aka Great Fire-Chariot in the sky, will well and truly be deceased.

The time it takes for the last paragraphs to happen? Another 5 billion years. Give or take, 50 million years or so.

That my friends will truly be the end of the World. Actually, it’ll only be the end of life on this planet. The rest of the Universe will far outlive Earth. (Better make friends with Aliens soon. Your descendants may become “Pendatangs” to their Planet before Earth expires.)

End of Doomsday Lesson

Yours Lovingly,

John Doe.