My cat is a communist

“The problem with ideologies is that too often we serve them instead of humanity. Another problem is how in this country we so easily paint the ones we fear or do not understand as evil personified—as can be evidenced by our persecution of non-government sanctioned schools of Islam and our continued crusade against black metal.”

Erna Mahyuni, The Malay Mail 

I live in fear of being arrested every day because, you see, my cat is a communist.

She believes that equality can be achieved by empowering the downtrodden by redistributing wealth. Which, of course, is a controversial aspect of communism.

My cat considers herself downtrodden as she is deprived of any type of food outside of kibble while I, the bourgeois class, dine on her favourite substance — chicken — every day.

Obviously this is unjust! An uprising is obviously the moral thing to do.

Thus she has resorted to guerilla tactics and has taken to hiding behind doors or stalking me in the kitchen when I am cooking.

My other cat is less radical and would prefer the status quo. He has taken to smacking her around the head in defence of liberty and the right to keep getting fed kibble by the benevolent government a.k.a. me.

It is indeed very trying to live in such a household with the prevailing state of differing ideologies.

If it were up to my second cat, my communist kitty would be barred from the house unless she gave up her chicken-stealing ways and accept that chicken is not something she has any right to demand.

While I believe cooked chicken is bad for my Red Army kitty, I respect her desires though there is no way in heck I would fulfill them.

Human food is for humans, kitty.

While the situation in my house is amusing, the outside realities where we need to contend with differences in political beliefs and ideologies is far trickier than salmonella-free poultry.

I find it much less amusing that our government has placed our police on red alert to prevent the remains (in whatever form they are in) of Chin Peng from crossing the border.

What’s to stop anyone from just tossing his ashes over the border? Are our security personnel going to sweep them up and toss them back into Thailand?

The problem with ideologies is that too often we serve them instead of humanity. Another problem is how in this country we so easily paint the ones we fear or do not understand as evil personified—as can be evidenced by our persecution of non-government sanctioned schools of Islam and our continued crusade against black metal.

I will not begrudge my cat from desiring chicken or from entering my house. My home is hers as it is my other more pro-establishment cat’s.

But humans, alas, are not cats and our country’s problems cannot be solved with a “No! Bad kitty!”

If only it were so easy.