We all fantasise at some point (an R18 article)

As for me, I fantasise about having sex with very aggressive and violent women. Somehow this ‘Amazon Woman’ thing turns me on and has been since I was a teenager. I fantasise about being cornered by a woman brandishing a steering wheel lock who whacks my car and orders me to get down on my knees and do…well, you know what.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

Let’s just admit it. We all fantasise at some point of our life. Some fantasise about becoming Malaysia’s new prime minister. Some fantasise about becoming the new menteri besar of Selangor. Some fantasise about becoming rich and famous. And some fantasise about sex.

I have this very close ‘Old Boy’ friend (Boom, you know who I am talking about) who fantasises about having sex with women wearing a tudung. His wife, Rodi, does not wear a tudung so I am not sure whether he insists she dons one on Thursday nights (if you know what ‘Thursday night’ means).

I have another friend who fantasises about having sex with grandmothers. Well, that was way back in the 1980s when we were all still in our 30s. Today, that friend, just like me, is already a grandfather. So that means his wife is now a grandmother. I do not know whether he still has this fantasy considering he now sleeps with a grandmother every night anyway.

Then there is another friend who fantasises about having sex with two women at the same time (he calls it a sandwich). However, according to his wife, after one ‘round’ he turns over and goes to sleep so I am not sure what the second woman would do while he snores till way past dawn.

There is yet another friend who fantasises about engaging in wife swapping. The only problem is those other friends of his who want to do the same are not quite married to ex-beauty queens. So he doubts he could get it up even if his wife would agree to participate. He told me even the lady-boys in Phuket and Patpong look more delicious than his friends’ wives. I asked him whether he is bisexual and he replied he is trysexual — he will try anything.

Then there is another friend who fantasises about watching his wife in a gang-bang. But they must be ‘blacks’ with tools at least nine inches or longer, he says. The only problem is he is worried that his wife may find his little pecker ‘inadequate’ after that. So he is still pondering about it, 30 years on. And the fact that his wife keeps singing ‘once you go black you will never look back’ while she is having a shower adds to this worry.

Anyway, as they say, you are judged by the company you keep — and I have to be honest that I sure do have strange friends. I am not sure, though, whether this has anything to do with the MCKK education that I received but maybe the other ‘Old Boys’ out there can enlighten me.

As for me, I fantasise about having sex with very aggressive and violent women. Somehow this ‘Amazon Woman’ thing turns me on and has been since I was a teenager. I fantasise about being cornered by a woman brandishing a steering wheel lock who whacks my car and orders me to get down on my knees and do…well, you know what.

Then she whacks my car again and orders me to take off my clothes and lie down while she…well, you know what.

Then she rides me and pounds me hard and orders me to do ‘bronco bucking’ while she holds that steering wheel lock above my head and threatens to whack my head if I stop before she orders me to.

Sigh…I might buy my wife a steering wheel lock this Christmas. But with my bad back I am not sure whether I will need spinal surgery after that.

Anyway, it’s good to sometimes just fantasise. Don’t you agree?