The Kajang hangover

Praba Ganesan, Malay Mail Online

Two men, a rabbi and a left-handed priest, walked into a bar. They were OK until they realised they were in Selangor, and realised further — almost prophetically without minding the pun — that despite the clichés and corny lines there are always things far stranger, always.

This is when they order stiff drinks.

My home state, Selangor, is experiencing a massive surreal hangover. Forget those spin-doctors in Putrajaya, Tel Aviv or Ulan Bator, the real home of endless possibilities (read: #EndlessPossibilities) is where the water does run dry at the taps and loans are all truly interest-free.

Local TV stations should be taking advantage and have a game-show: Can you remember the move AKA the calm before the storm AKA who’s the leader again?

Truth be told, those who have followed the highs and many lows of this passage of time known as the “Kajang Move” since January 27, yes it has been that long, should be accorded honorary certificates in political science or necromancy. The soap opera which lasted almost 8 months ended on the Autumnal Equinox, September 23, just as unexpectedly as it began.

http://www.themalaymailonline.com/malaysia/article/kajang-state-assemblyman-resigns

http://www.themalaymailonline.com/malaysia/article/azmin-to-be-appointed-selangor-mb

(In case you actually need a brief: One of the 44 legislative members of Selangor, from PKR, resigned 8 months into his term to allow my party leader Anwar Ibrahim to contest, win and replace the mentri besar of Selangor, Khalid Ibrahim.

A maddening reversal of a lower court’s decision by the Appeals Court disqualified Anwar two days from nomination day, forcing the emergency positing of party president Wan Azizah Wan Ismail as the candidate. She won.

The mentri besar refused to vacate his seat voluntarily, much to the shock and bewilderment of his party, which led to Khalid being sacked by PKR. Meanwhile the Selangor Sultan was not amused. Khalid continued with power because 15 of the 43 legislative members — since you have to strike out Khalid as a willing coalition member — were from PAS and they were not all together enamoured by a man being replaced by a woman. Khalid and strange bedfellows — 12 from Umno and 15 from PAS — carried an impasse beyond usual scrutiny.

The sultan remained unamused, even if all types of overtures were extended and directed to the palace. Eventually an exit for Khalid was announced but not before a request for names. The name-merry-go-round had various rough spots ending with the sultan issuing a name, which brings us to the NOW. See, you do deserve a certificate if you remember in sequence.)

What have we learnt?

Between that time, Malaysia Airlines tragically lost two planes; couples spent Valentines Day outside the campus of the International Islamic University because the administration bans fun generally; millions of Malaysians had their sleep time halved for a month so they could witness Aryan supremacy of a different kind at the Maracana and Brazillians waking up with a team even American Samoa would not adopt; the sports minister doing push-ups and posting it on his Twitter; Nicol David wins a bunch of titles (by the way, congratulations on the Asian Games gold, the minister will be doing even more push-ups); and Mahathir Mohamad issued a series of diatribes from his proverbial mountain cave shaking up the prime minister, belittling party leaders and dividing his base.

I’ll retract, there is little that will be learnt from the fiasco — but we have seen plenty.

Strategies are cute

This is an undeniable universal fact, in a largely apathetic world, having people who are willing to present us with strategies occupies our time in a different way than if we had no strategies.

This is not to say the “Kajang Move” would not be belittled for years to come.

However, the sheer shifts-shafts-shanks of the manoeuvre, has unnerved those behind it because they have slipped out of the backdoor with no ceremony.

PAS, they know how to throw a party

They may just in a short time from now display the PAS party symbol next to the word “circumspect” in the dictionary.

Those who thought 44 seats in the 56 seats Selangor assembly for Pakatan Rakyat was licence to run roughshod over all practicalities were quickly awakened from their slumber by PAS even after the Kajang by-election.

Their leader Abdul Hadi Awang said, albeit belatedly, that Khalid Ibrahim was a decent enough bloke. The number two, Mat Sabu, insists between calls to his former cellmate and Penang chief minister Lim Guan Eng that PAS is a hundred and ten per cent behind Pakatan in Selangor and elsewhere.

And the rest of the leadership were mixed and mixed up. The membership was generally using a Magic-8 ball to choose their side.

The only thing certain was that PAS was uncertain. Two party assemblymen exacerbated the situation by crossing the line and joining DAP and PKR to oust Khalid.

The party’s Muktamar (general assembly) descended into uncharacteristic turmoil with microphones being grabbed and denouncements replacing the usual accolades.

At every turn PAS was edging closer to another non-decision while postponing key votes like what they will wear at the next Pakatan meeting.

As you read this a special committee is likely to be formed to determine what to make of these observations about a party long on opinions but short on political nous.

The unlikely victor

While the outcome has been deeply upsetting in terms of what it means to have a smooth democratic transition in a constitutional monarchy, you have to laugh.

But do laugh at me too, since I am a proud party member.

Still, having an end in which arch-rivals find solace in one replacing another does bring a wicked smile in neutrals. Khalid has fought Azmin Ali for power inside the party and state since 2008, with Wan Azizah seen to favour the former Guthrie CEO. Instead in a curious turn of events, minus a PowerPoint presentation, Khalid is high-fiving his crew upon finding out the other name PKR submitted to the sultan is the preferred choice.

Nemesis turns into a silver lining.

The days to come

They will make or break Pakatan, but given PAS’ propensity to look past the gravity of any given situation the worst might be closer than even the most avid pundit can predict.

PKR will have consider long and hard the future dynamics because the second most powerful man in the party is now in charge of the party’s state of power. How does it place or displace those in the present hierarchy will unravel in the months to pass.

The eyes of Selangor will return to water, jobs, housing and cost of living soon enough. A mentri besar who has the pulse of these things will be the only mentri besar they want to remember. The past only waits for history books to be printed.

As for the rabbi and left-handed priest, they can’t run hard enough for the last train out of Shah Alam.