Love over hate after the Kajang Move

Nathaniel Tan, The Ant Daily

When we speak from love, we elevate our discourse, our community, and ultimately, ourselves.

When we speak from any place else, we move backwards.

Some months ago, my sister and I sat down to dinner with a journalist from The Star, Philip Golingai.

For some, even to have such a dinner with a mainstream media editor constitutes treason of some sort.

This was exactly the topic of conversation however, and I think some of the things he said over the course of that dinner will stay with me forever.

While discussing the “Allah” controversy, Philip talked about how Malaysia was sinking deeper and deeper into the politics of hate.

What I think he meant was that the loudest voices in Malaysian public discourse are fast becoming ones of anger, of putting others down, of sowing division – what Dr. Kua Kia Soong describes as behaving like Rottweilers (http://www.malaysia-today.net/dearth-of-leadership-in-pakatan/).

Surely some will be thinking that media like The Star are the most guilty of such things, but I realised that I do not control The Star, Utusan Malaysia, TV3, or for that matter, Malaysiakini, The Malaysian Insider, or The Ant Daily. Neither do I control what is said on Facebook or Twitter.

In all this media, the sensational, the attention grabbing, and the controversial will always be trumpeted the loudest – far above what is simply positive – and that is beyond my control.

The only thing I do control, in this and in all else, is myself.

The more I reflected, the more I realise how guilty I have been of perpetuating this culture of hate.

When I first started writing many years ago, my articles probably got upwards of 85% positive comments. In Malaysian cyberspace, if you can bash and rip apart Barisan Nasional with any eloquence or pizzaz, you are bound to find a very warm audience that is happy to cheer loudly.

This I continued to do for quite some time. Even though I would never say so in public, I probably saw myself as a self-righteous crusader for truth and justice.

I intend to stand against Barisan Nasional for as long as its inherent racism and its endemic corruption remain the order of the day, as it is very likely to be for all foreseeable future.

I do not, however, want to move backwards and write in a way that is meant to provoke instead of persuade, enrage instead of engage, or sensationalise instead of seek sense.

The Selangor saga elicited a very emotional response in me, which clearly shows in the style and volume of my writing.

I stand by all the points that I made, humbly maintain my analysis to be objective (though that of course is for readers and history to decide), and am more than likely to continue the line of reasoning I have been using.

I realise however that the approach I took may have not only distracted from my arguments, but contributed to the deterioration of discourse in this country.

It is not very difficult to exhilarate, elate or incite the masses, the same way gladiator fights once drove crowds into a frenzy, or the way governments whip up public sentiment in movies like V for Vendetta or The Hunger Games.

Nowhere has this been more evident to me than after the Kajang Move. I have seen feudal loyalty trump objectivity, and expediency trump decency.

I saw old friends descend on each other like wolves, and I learned that if people you like say something, there is a decent likelihood you will believe them, however true or untrue their words actually are. Blind loyalty, we must remember, is no good, no matter which coalition or party you support.

I saw politicians get so emotionally caught up in their fights that they lost their cool in public, and started acting out of control.

Perhaps most disturbingly, I saw the frightening degree to which politicians – and not just from one side of the divide – can influence public perception and what is ‘popular’ to suit their needs.

I experienced for the first time what it was like to be on the opposite side of popular – a suitably humbling experience, but one I will never regret, as long as the facts I have based my opinions are not disproven.

In keeping with the spirit of this article, I am not here to decry the political profession or those in it.

It is just that seeing this happen to people with even the very best of character, track records and intentions is an important reminder of how much personal preparation one must do to survive the rigours of politics with one’s integrity intact. Never underestimate the pressures of that job, or the sacrifices individuals in that profession make to keep themselves sane.

Very briefly in terms of specifics, I think one of the most disturbing things that we saw in the Selangor saga is the growing divide between two very culturally distinct groups of Malaysians – essentially, liberal, middle class, mostly non-Malay, non-Muslim urbanites on one hand, and conservative, often poorer, Malay, Muslims on the other.

I feel that this is one of the most fundamental problems facing Malaysia today.

The degree of PAS bashing was worrying because of the colour it took, and the underlying resentment towards Malaysians who, unlike us, choose to cover their heads, wear long beards and take religion very seriously, as well as towards the constituencies they have represented for decades.

No matter how much we disagree with their way of life or find it strange and alien, they have no more and no less a place under the Malaysian sun than us. They are also not going anywhere any more than we are.

If we continue down a siege mentality path of antagonisation and demonisation, instead of reaching out and building real bridges with Malaysians who are different from us, then Malaysia can only become more and more divided.

I watched a movie on Astro a few nights ago, called Warm Bodies. In any zombie movie, the scary thing is how zombies turn humans into more zombies. This is the effect that coarse discourse has on society – it infects us, cheapens us, and makes us less than we are.

The unique thing about this particular zombie movie however, is that (spoiler alert), with a bit of love, the zombies actually can turn back into humans.

In a great conference I attended recently, one likely to shape my future, I heard someone divide people into three: the unmovable, the movable and the movers.

Moving forward, I want to continue moving the movable. In doing so, I want to do my best to avoid shaming, deriding, or in any way challenge the dignity of the unmovable.

My other cheek is there, whether I turn it or not, so it is for others to decide the frequency and nature of their slapping. All I can do is to make sure that I myself always forsake slapping in favour of a gentle caress, if anything at all.

No one knows for sure whether we will be able to change the world; but there is no doubt that everyone can be that change for themselves.

As we work towards that change, I will keep in mind another motto I came across in the aforementioned conference, that some from Muar may recognise: Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re – gentle in manner, resolute in deed.