No need for Malays and Chinese to love one another

Like I said, we should not expect the Malays and Chinese to love one another. But if we can accept the fact that we have our differences and tolerate these differences and learn to live with these differences, that would be a good start. Then we can focus on how to seek a compromise on what creates these differences.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

I remember something a very close Sap Pat Chai friend, Eddie Wong, told me about 50 years ago when I was still a teenager. (For the uninitiated, Sap Pat Chai means ‘18 boy’, someone from the Sap Pat Loh Hon or 18 Immortals triad).

Eddie told me that the Chinese have a saying: mo tiu Malayan. (I will let the Chinese readers help interpret that if you do not know what it means).

Anyway, I accepted that and still ‘ran’ with these Chinese friends of mine. In fact, Eddie Wong and another Sap Pat Chai friend, Eddie Chan (who is a PKR supporter and now lives in Rawang), and I were very close and we met every day. Hell, we practically lived together and another of our ‘gang’ members was Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s nephew (of course, that was about 25 years before Dr Mahathir became Prime Minister).

I never became a Chinese hater. I still dated Chinese girls and even married one of them. One of my girlfriends was a Chinese girl who sold sugarcane in front of the Rex cinema in Chinatown in Kuala Lumpur. She did not speak a word of English or Malay and my Chinese was limited to four-letter words so invariably that relationship did not last.

I mean how can it last when all we do is hold hands in the Malaysia Snack Bar and sip coke all day long without exchanging a word?

Anyway, from a very young age, 50 years ago, I accepted the fact that there are differences between Malays and Chinese and that we need to live with it. It is basically something that we need to tolerate and not take too much to heart.

I know tolerate sounds negative. You tolerate noisy and inconsiderate neighbours. You tolerate your neighbour’s dog shitting on your lawn. But then you do so just to make sure there are no conflicts or bad blood between neighbours.

And that was how I went through life these last 64 years. I accepted that I am Chap Chong Chai, Chapalang, Malai Chai, Ang Moh Kui, and whatever names my Chinese friends called me by. My Indian friends were Keling Kwai and my Chinese friends were China Kui.

So be it. We still stood side-by-side in gang fights and saved each other’s arses when cornered by the enemy gang. And, boy, did we have some great fights in our younger days.

That, basically, is how we of different races need to get along. Stop trying to find a formula on how we can love one another. For 50 years I have learned that there is no such formula. Just accept the fact that we are different and don’t let it become a barrier to our relationship.

Malays are passionate, emotional and sentimental about their special position, privileges, New Economic Policy, Article 153 of the Federal Constitution, and so on. That is never going to change and the Malays are never going to give all that up.

Chinese, on the other hand, are opposed to all that which the Malays hold dear. They oppose the NEP, the special position and privileges of the Malays, Article 153, etc. And the Chinese are equally stubborn and adamant as the Malays are.

So let us just accept the fact that we disagree and move on. The Malays are not going to back down and neither are the Chinese. And even if you continue to insult and vilify each other nothing is going to change like it never changed for 50 years since I was a teenager.

Just declare that we agree to disagree (like how Pakatan Rakyat always does) and accept that there is not going to be any win-win solution. In a win-win situation both sides need to compromise. And in a compromise we have to give up something to gain something.

The problem is, the Malays feel that they have already given up a lot. They gave citizenship to the non-Malays and got reduced from 90% to just 50% of the population. And, in return, in compensation for this perceived ‘loss’, the Malays received something in return: their special position, privileges, New Economic Policy, Article 153 of the Federal Constitution, etc.

From the Malay point of view they did compromise. They gave up something in return for something. Whether this is the right way or the wrong way of looking at it is not something I want to defend or dispute. I just want to explain how Malays look at this situation.

So, if the Chinese want what the Malays view as an ‘agreement’ to be amended or updated, you need to go back to the conference table (like how they did from 1948 to 1957) and renegotiate. The Malays have to be made to feel that this is a negotiation and not a demand. But whether the negotiation will succeed or not is another matter but at least the Malays will not feel like a gun has been put to their head.

Like I said, we should not expect the Malays and Chinese to love one another. But if we can accept the fact that we have our differences and tolerate these differences and learn to live with these differences, that would be a good start. Then we can focus on how to seek a compromise on what creates these differences.

However, as I said, compromises mean both sides must meet halfway. So the Chinese must have something to offer the Malays in return for the Malays giving the Chinese some concessions. If not then this will just go one for another 50 years.