We need proof you did not pay for the wedding

Malays have to understand that things have changed. In the interest of transparency, Malays can no longer practice their old culture and traditions. They can still throw lavish weddings for their daughters, though, as culture and traditions dictate. The only slight change is that they have to prove to us that they did not pay for it and that someone else did.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

The message from the rakyat is very crystal clear. It is not enough you announce you did not pay for your children’s wedding reception. You need to show proof that you did not and that your in-laws actually paid for it. And anyone who holds public office, especially the highest office in the land, must be subjected to this rule.

I know, to Malays, the wedding of their daughter is a very special event. This is even more so if that is their only daughter or the eldest in the family. And Malays would normally want a grand wedding for their daughter, only daughter, or eldest daughter.

In Chinese culture this would be described as face. If you were not able to give your daughter a grand wedding you would lose face. For Chinese it is the other way around. Sons are more valuable than daughters. Sons are assets while daughters are liabilities.

This may have changed since the last 100 years or so, especially for the overseas Chinese. But for Mainland Chinese, and even the Straits Chinese up to the last century, daughters are not as welcome as sons. And Chinese would never waste money giving their daughters a grand wedding as they would their sons.

Malays look at things the reverse of how Chinese look at things. In fact, there have been cases where the parents would not bother with a second ceremony for their sons. They will just send some money to the girl’s side and tompang on their wedding ceremony. Or even if they do have a second ceremony they would do a modest one and not try to outdo the ceremony of the girl’s side.

That may have been the Malay culture of past. Nowadays, however, things have changed, especially if you are in the government. No one would question how much you spent or who paid for your daughter’s wedding if you are in the opposition. I mean, Anwar Ibrahim, too, had a pretty grand wedding when his eldest child, and a daughter at that, got married.

But if you are in the government you need to be very careful, especially if you are high up in the government. You need to show you did not pay for the wedding and that someone else paid for it to avoid being subjected to embarrassing questions, where you would lose face.

But to be fair to Anwar, he, too, did not pay for his daughter’s wedding. A few Chinese and Malay towkays did. One towkay who was there that day paid RM250,000. One of Anwar’s brothers confirmed this. So no one can question Anwar and demand that he explain where the money came from. We all know where it came from and the financiers even showed their faces at the wedding.

This is not just an issue if you are the Prime Minister or the Opposition Leader. Even Cabinet Ministers, Members of Parliament, State Assemblypersons, Council Members, Pengarahs, Imams, and many more, need to be transparent and prove to the rakyat they did not pay for their daughter’s wedding and that the wedding ceremony, in fact, was paid for by someone else.

It could be a rich towkay, or a number of rich towkays, like in Anwar ‘s case, or your in-laws, like in the Prime Minister’s case, or it could be a government contractor, housing developer, logger, miner, or whatever. Whoever may have paid for your daughter’s wedding does not really matter. What matters is that we need to see proof that you did not pay for your daughter’s wedding and that someone else did.

Maybe we can come out with a ruling that before the date of your daughter’s wedding you hold a ceremony cum press conference and the person who is going to pay for your daughter’s wedding hands the cash or cheque over to you in front of an audience. Photographs can be snapped and the next day the media can carry the report and pictures to show the whole world you did not pay for your daughter’s wedding and that someone else did.

Everyone, not just the Prime Minister, should be made to do this, even the lowly imam in a mosque. After all, the imam, too, gives out contracts for the mosque maintenance so we need to know that this is not the rakyat’s money that is being used to finance his daughter’s wedding.

Just over a month ago, the Deputy Prime Minister’s daughter got married and we forgot to ask him who paid for the wedding reception. However, it is not too late. Muhyiddin Yassin can still prove to the rakyat that he did not pay for his daughter’s wedding and that someone else did.

Malays have to understand that things have changed. In the interest of transparency, Malays can no longer practice their old culture and traditions. They can still throw lavish weddings for their daughters, though, as culture and traditions dictate. The only slight change is that they have to prove to us that they did not pay for it and that someone else did.