Azmin’s dillema in choosing a wife

Umar Mukhtar

Choosing one wife over the other is not a difficult choice – if the husband is more powerful than the wives. Not in the present Selangor coalition government where the wives have cut off ties with each other, where the husband ranks third in strength among the three.

Choosing DAP would require two Islamic frogs to jump to PKR to ensure a stable government. That may even cause breaking of matrimonial pledges in the frogs’ private lives, but that’s a trivia. Of more critical is when facing PRU 14. The reality of Malaysian politics comes into play.

Selangor has more concentrations of Chinese voters. DAP will win more seats than the splintered Malay parties to become the senior partner. PKR, on the other hand, will have to fight for Malay votes against PAS and UMNO. Each of them have its bastion on its own strength, unlike PKR, which still require DAP’s support from Chinese voters. So if this coalition wins, it will be DAP winning more seats than PKR and then some. So maybe even a Malay DAP Mentri Besar or a DAP-dominated Executive Council.

If PAS is the chosen wife, it may be most stable choice for now, but the Hudud issue will still be a thorn in the flesh. Come PRU14, PAS also would be needing Chinese votes according to DAP. So it’s natural that relatively urban Malay seats will be contested by PKR. Meanwhile UMNO, supported by impotent MCA and MIC, will be lurking around not to end up winning  the least seats like now. It is unlikely that impotent wives will cause BN to win the state. But UMNO can dream on. It makes good masturbation.

It is difficult when you are neither here nor there like PKR. You draw your virility only from your wives’ drive and their demands are exhausting. No wonder the jailbird is now offering advice on his speciality. Retain polygamy, act as the peacemaker between the two wives, and behave as if you are the most virile of men even if sometimes both wives demand that you sleep on the sofa.

Azmin has a big task of charting PKR long-term future. None of it involves DAP and PAS, if it requires PKR acting as the real husband. It will always be secondary to the wives’ wishes. It’s Adat Perpateh or bust. Somehow, the PKR President appears to prefer that. It’s up her alley. Anyway, what is a marriage. You can always get a divorce and wash your linen in public and damn the kids.

The rickety racing car is falling apart soon. Maybe do a Semangat 46 or re-emerge in five years time for a prodigal welcome.