Economic Turmoil: How Can We Be Part Of It?

We are scared and we can also scare other people at the same time. So how do we be part of it and make things worse?

Md Chan Abdullah

So the ringgit and stock market are plummeting. Bursa tumbled nearly 30 points, ringgit is reaching RM4 against one US dollar. This is exciting news to us Malaysians, we are scared and we can also scare other people at the same time. So how do we be part of it and make things worse?

For Najib: It’s okay Mr PM. Just don’t address this issue, it’s nothing. Don’t take the risk of being bashed by the public to address this issue. Let’s go overseas instead. Post a picture or status on your facebook about unimportant things. Don’t talk to the media, don’t hold any press conference, keep the investors and people in the dark about the government’s move to handle this situation. It’s not important. Don’t be so brave as to impose strict laws like what Mahathir did in 1998. Let all the people, media players, foreigners, do whatever they want to do to make things worse.

For BERSIH: Hold more rallies! Let’s have 5 million people on the streets. Why march to Dataran Merdeka only? Let’s march from Perlis to Johore, take a flight and continue from KK to Kuching. We can have the rally all week, there are a lot of people like you guys who actually are jobless and just want to spend their time rallying and listening to speeches while bitching about how hard life is. I’m very sure, after we have the mammoth rally and listening to fiery speeches, ringgit and stock market will recover the next day. Najib will step down, he is a weak politician, he will step down … yeah he will … in fact he will still step down if there are only 5 people in Dataran Merdeka that day. Yeah … he will … he will ….

For the MPs (including some cabinet members): At this moment, the economy is not important. PAC is. Hold a special seating as soon as possible to select the PAC chairman. Past is more important than the future. Maintaining a popularity rating of being a young politician who can dance the Zumba is more important than helping the government.

For UMNO folks: Believe in this; once UMNO has a new President, all Pakatan leaders will quit their party and join UMNO and all the opposing media will start promoting UMNO. So now show the world, the ruling party is divided. You guys need to fight each other more. Have more ‘brave’ Wanita to give fiery speeches to criticize the President. Invite Muhyiddin, Shafie and all the sidelined UMNO leaders to officiate the Divisions’ meetings and bash the government. This is good for the economy, for the country, for the people. Showing the world the ruling party is divided and the President is losing support from party members will definitely gain back investors’ confidence.

For PR: Do whatever you want to do. You guys are true politicians. You guys have the stamina to play politics everyday all year long. Just don’t care about dengue in Selangor and affordable houses in Penang, its not part of your job.

For Fresh Grads: What? RM2500 salary? That is not enough to survive! Stop doing your work and continue to complain about everything. There is no benefit to being a dedicated worker. If you work hard, your boss will get the money. Work less and don’t worry if the company goes bankrupt, your salary would still fall from the sky. Being a graduate, you must not travel to work using trains or buses. You must buy a car and maintain your style. Graduates during my time did not have style, they only commuted using public transport, they had no smartphones, no facebook, no twitter, no emails, no fancy handbags, no Tony Romas, no condos with swimming pool! Look where they are today, they can only become GM, COO and CEO of conglomerates and blue chip companies. LOUSY!

For SPRM: Apart from doing your main task to investigate, you can get popular by going to the media everyday to show vows and pledges. Why not form a political party with your own manifesto? Hold daily press conferences and get popular. By doing this, we can scare everybody including the PM and the investors. We must make the investors think there is no political stability in Malaysia, PM is on the verge of being arrested, Police and SPRM are fighting and the government is so weak they could not even transfer their own staff. Don’t forget to use the best tactic in politics – sympathy! Sorry but I have to say this – If you want to investigate, shut up and just investigate. Stop being bitchy.

For Tun M: My hand is shaking while writing about this man. I’m writing about the holiest man in Malaysia. He made no mistakes during his tenure as the PM. So now he can criticize the current PM. He is doing this for the country, not his son or his cronies. No! He never helps them. There were no bailouts or over-priced contracts given to his family or friends during his time. Democracy was alive! No ISA, no media blackout, no OSA, no Ops Lalang. So Tun M, please continue to add petrol to the fire. Shake the government so hard and make investors lose their confidence. Let the economy suffer as long as Najib is out from office. Yes, we believe, this is for the country and not for your family or friends.

For Malaysians: Just continue to share and tweet about things we are not sure of, we don’t know and we have no knowledge of. Don’t miss this golden time by being part of the problem. Continue to scares ourselves and other people. Don’t listen to the experts, who the F is Bank Negara or Wahid Omar? Wahid is just a former banker, we know more about the economy and finance than Wahid. Just like last time when Lahad Datu was under siege, we knew more than what the Generals knew about war. Do not care about your job, its not important. Spend your time on social media, coffee shops and rallies for politics. Hujung bulan dapat gaji juga.

Apart from global factors, our political instability is also part of the problem. And people mentioned above contributed to the factor. Now I just can’t wait to see our economy sink deeper. However, it will be very sad to see my 15 good workers in my small company, earning small money, losing their jobs. One of them is OKU, three of them are single parents and two of them have disabled kids. It’s okay, they are not important to you.