Enough with the complaints

Here’s the news. We are in fact a third world country.

Daniel Chandranayagam, The Sun Daily

IT was a fine rainy Tuesday morning when I opened up social media with a cup of coffee, after having completed a private session. Among the many posts up on my Facebook feed, I found one popular one about how a monorail carriage was being towed by another, and that there was a 20-minute delay.

Following this was an onslaught of comments, namely how bad transportation is in Malaysia. I think the one that annoyed me the most was a comment about how we are such a “third world country”.

For a stark contrast, another friend posted a video from Australia on how a carriage of people in a mass transport carriage broke out into Somewhere Over The Rainbow on the way to work. The contrast for me was not that the carriage in Australia was moving, while the one in Malaysia was stalled, but more the mentality of the people; our lot complaining and the Australians singing.

Malaysians so love to complain that the Malaysian Book of Records, perhaps even the Guinness Book of Records, should consider including this as an entry!

Here’s the news. We are in fact a third world country. What is the point of experiencing tardiness on a monorail, shaking your head, and saying, “Such a third world country?” That’s like going to a fast food restaurant, ordering and eating two portions of large fries, shaking your head, and saying, “Fattening”.

I would like to point out that most “third world” countries do not have mass public transportation systems, wifi availability, good mobile phone reception, cable television or even the internet. So we are actually a little better than “third world”, at least in some parts of the nation.

I think the problem lies with us having travelled to “first world” countries or watched media from developed countries, and then comparing ourselves with them. While travelling is good, and even the comparing can be good, the endless destructive criticism is what makes me scratch my head. If Malaysia is so bad, then either find a way to leave or try to make it a better place.

Of course, many people have migrated from the country. Some are really happy in their new homes, but others constantly check up on Malaysia, blogging about how bad things are from overseas. Why do people leave the country and busy themselves criticising their former domiciled country? Shouldn’t they be happy they migrated? Shouldn’t they be more concerned about the circumstances they are currently living in?

That is what I find so unappealing about many Malaysians. We complain so much but we rarely do anything to make any changes. When a business sells us something defective, we complain all over social media but don’t even bother to speak to customer service; when someone double parks, we take a photo, post it on social media, and never even bother to confront the errant driver; when a boss or colleague bullies you, complain on Twitter and never seek some kind of constructive resolution.

“What’s the point?” the complainers would say, “Nothing’s going to change what”. Well, of course nothing is going to change if you are going to be passive aggressive. Are they really unhappy about their object of complaint, or are they just plain unhappy?

I don’t think I need a psychology degree to observe that if one is constantly complaining, it really reflects on the complainer rather than the object of complaint. The thing is you can’t change the other person you’re complaining about or your circumstance or your environment, but you can change yourself and how you view things.

A meme (how life has devolved!) succinctly put it this way: “Beware of destination addiction: the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”