How Ezam sodomised Khairuddin

The Third Force

Today, I’m going to unravel a dirty little secret Dato’ Ezam Mohd Nor kept hidden in his crib all this while. No, scratch that. Today, I’m going to unravel a few dirty secrets this rotten scoundrel of a moron has been keeping from everyone, even from his own mother, all this while. By the time I’m done stripping Ezam naked with this article, I truly, honestly hope he will feel dirty enough never to show his face in public or to his mother ever again.

And while I’m at it, I will tell you guys what all of this has to do with Dato’ Seri Khairuddin Abu Hassan’s recent departure from Parti Pribumi Bersatu Malaysia (Pribumi). To help us understand the link, let us start from a very shocking announcement Khairuddin (let’s just call him Khai, shall we?) made just last week.

Last Friday, the 28^th of October 2016, Khai dropped a bombshell right on Dr. Mahathir Mohammad’s face. Now I don’t need to yell you what the bombshell was. Everyone from my milkman to the Pope knows that the sacked Batu Kawan Umno division vice-chairman announced his decision to leave Pribumi, perhaps for good. Everyone knows this because Khai made it a point to go very public on the matter.

Now, the shock announcement set tongues wagging all across the political arena. Rumours of a rift between Khai and Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin went full throttle as whispers passed from ear to mouth and ear again. Some opined that Khai was upset he had not been offered an important enough position in the party. Others opined that Khai was foaming at the mouth that Ezam had been accepted into the party.

Strangely, it never occurred to anyone that Khai and Mahathir could have had a falling-out. That is to say, both Khai and Mahathir may no longer be on talking terms. Perhaps, everyone chose to brush such a thought off as being ridiculous. To those politically savvy, Khai was among those instrumental in assisting Mahathir destroy Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim. To them, there was no way in hell Khai would ever betray Mahathir.

Well, he did.

For the first time in many years, Mahathir was actually telling us the truth when he denied knowledge of Khai’s decision to leave Pribumi. Even the grand old man himself found it hard to swallow that the staunchest of his adherents would back down without first consulting him. But once he confirmed Khai’s exit, he knew exactly what was bothering the sacked UMNO leader. The former premier knew that Khai was unhappy at being ‘short changed’ despite ‘running around like a mad dog from Timbuktu to the North Pole’.

Yes. Khai was not happy with what he was getting. He wanted more. I mean, why should Muhyiddin get to have all the sex and eat all the cake when it was Khai doing all the barking? So Khai decided that it was about time he was appreciated. But he did not come to the decision all by himself. No. Both Ezam and Nurul Izzah Anwar had something to do with it.

Now, there were telltale signs from the very beginning that something was amiss. For instance, when Khai first announced he was leaving Pribumi, he told us that he needed to focus on the various charges he had brought against Prime Minister Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak. But then, in the same breath, he stressed that he would continue to champion the party’s cause and even help drive new members into the party.

But doesn’t that come off as strange to you, that someone should declare allegiance to a party right after leaving it? Perhaps Khai thinks that all we humans are as dumb as he is. Perhaps, he thinks we are so stupid that we would buy into his poop even if he told us he never pooped. I mean, any Tom, Dick or Harry would be able to tell you that something was just not right.

Then, as if to contradict himself, he came out to say this:

“To be honest and genuine, all the leaders and members of PPBM (Pribumi) cannot be in groups and don’t ever allow the culture and attitude of Umno to infiltrate into PPBM,” a major daily quoted him as saying.

That statement had me scratching my head – I couldn’t figure out what was wrong or what he was trying to say. By then, my guys had begun digging on Khai and discovered an Indonesian connection of sorts. I was told that Khai’s decision to leave Pribumi had to do with a ‘foreign funder’ and a secret movement Ezam had initiated in Jakarta. Still, were we neither sure who the funder was, nor sure what the movement was all about.

But then, we got some leads the minute Khai threatened to reveal damaging info about Pribumi. On the 31^st of October 2016, a furious looking Khai announced that there were explicit details to his reasons for leaving the party, reasons he implied would shame party leaders if leaked. His riddled threat set the rumour mills grinding. Some said he had a misunderstanding with Muhyiddin, while others said he had a misunderstanding with Ezam.

But my guys were one step ahead. They informed me that Ezam was lured into the party by Khai’s own cajolery. Then, a day later, a very reliable source noted how Khai’s exit may have had something to do with Ezam and his Indonesian based Hisbah Centre for Reform, or HCR. So the question of Khai having quarrelled with Ezam does not arise. The real question is this – what was the deal between Khai and HCR?

Then, some hours after I came to know of the HCR connection, my guys told me that Ezam’s decision to leave UMNO and join Pribumi had something to do with Nurul Izzah Anwar. The plot was just getting thicker and thicker. And as if it wasn’t thick enough, another source told me just this morning that both Nurul and Ezam were involved in an illicit affair only certain party insiders such as Lokman Noor Adam and Hanifiah Man were aware of. The same source confirmed that not only was the affair for real, the two regularly flew to Jakarta to meet up at Muhyiddin’s expense.

You read right – the sex guru was funding their romantic escapades. But we still had some questions. For instance, how did Khai fit in to the scheme of things, and what did it have to do with the HCR? Then, some hours ago, all the pieces to the puzzle started falling perfectly in place. We now know exactly what happened. We know why Khai left Pribumi, and what it had to do with the HCR, Nurul and Ezam.

Apparently, for the past three weeks or so, Nurul had secretly been meeting up with Khai to discuss a very secret project both she and Ezam were dedicated to. Khai agreed to render his assistance the minute Nurul revealed how Ezam was in touch with a ‘certain foreign funder’ who had the millions to finance the project. Remember the ‘foreign funder’ I spoke of earlier? Initially, my team thought that the funder was a foreigner, an Indonesian. But it turns out that the funder was none other than Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin.

Just so that you know, the project Nurul told Khai about had to do with HRC, a Jakarta based NGO that Ezam helped found on the pretext of ‘saving Malaysia’. Yes, ‘saving Malaysia’ seems to be the catchphrase for the opposition to conceal all of its illicit activities. To Khai, the HCR was established in Jakarta to plan strategic assaults against Najib without the Prime Minister or the government finding out about it.

Believe me – that was the crap Nurul sold to Khai.

And being the moron he is, Khai did not know that the HCR was merely a front to keep Nurul’s illicit love affair with Ezam from coming out into the open. Yes, the HCR was merely an excuse for both Nurul and Ezam to see each other without triggering unnecessary suspicion. Of course, the NGO served also as a ‘money sink’ through which Nurul and Khai received their ‘sweeteners’ from Muhyiddin, the sex guru.

Nurul sold Khai some more crap, this time about the HCR having the potential to expand and turn viral the international hype surrounding 1MDB. Khai being Khai, he bought whatever Nurul told him hook, line and sinker. But all he was concerned with was the million ringgit ‘reward’ he was promised. So he agreed to a peculiar condition that Nurul had set.

Can any of you guess what Nurul’s condition was?

Nurul told Khai that he needed to work ‘closely’ with Ezam to make the project work. She told him that it was not by her design, but by request of the ‘funder’, who felt that Khai knew more about 1MDB than Ezam did. As such, it was important for Khai to be on board as it would help fast track the project. Now, did Khai know that the funder was Muhyiddin?

No.

And that’s the problem with Khai. He thinks he is too smart. He told Nurul he would assist her on condition that Ezam joined Pribumi. To Khai, it was one way of making sure that the plan was not to sabotage the party. To please Khai, Nurul immediately got Ezam to join Pribumi. She needed to convince Khai that PKR was “ever willing to work with Mahathir.”

Yes, Khai is that stupid. He actually thought he had his base covered. But little did he suspect that Nurul, Muhyiddin and Ezam were conspiring to tiger a crisis in Pribumi.

You see, Nurul is aware that Mahathir and Dato’ Seri Azmin Ali are hatching a new plot to topple Datin Seri Dr. Wan Azizah Ismail. So she sought Ezam’s and Muhyiddin’s assistance to turn Khai against Mahathir. She wants Pribumi to have enough of its own problems that PKR would be the last thing on Mahathir’s mind.

Let’s work out the basic plot here. Not only is Nurul smitten by Ezam’s charm, she needs him to trigger a crisis in Pribumi. Muhyiddin, on the other hand, needs Ezam to screw Khai and Mahathir. And finally, Ezam needs Muhyiddin to fund the HCR and Nurul to act as a go-between to lure Khai into a trap.

Sounds like an Anwar plot, does it not?

Now, the minute Ezam stepped into Pribumi, he started doing what he does best – stir trouble. He appeared like one of those little devils holding a pitchfork and whispered into Khai’s ear, “You’re not being appreciated by Mahathir.” Ezam knew Khai like the back of his hand. He knew just the right cords to pull and the right nerves to twitch to set the sacked UMNO leader boiling.

I mean, I hate to praise Ezam too much, but it’s true. Ezam knew that Mahathir would never agree to pay Khai more millions. The truth is, back in 2014, Mahathir had already forked out some RM17 million just to yank Khai out from insolvency. In other words, that RM17 million explains how Khai was able to get out of bankruptcy. It also explains how he got his passport activated just to fly into the arms of waiting FBI officials in the US with tales of how the Prime Minister had laundered money through the US financial system.

So why would Mahathir want to pay Khai more millions? Still, let us not demonise the poor old man too much. I mean, I’m sure he would have agreed to part with a million or two, if only Khai had asked for that much. But how much did Khai ask the old man for?

RM20 million.

Khai took Ezam’s words literally and demanded that he be paid RM20 million for all the “unnecessary risks” he took. In other words, Khai fell for Ezam’s trap like a bug would a spider web. Ezam knew that Khai was quite the greedy fellow and would never take no for an answer. Now do you guys know what Mahathir told Khai?

“I never asked you to take those risks.”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen – that’s Dr. Mahathir Mohammad for you. And it’s not as if the former premier was lying. Trust me, I was there when he told a crowd of 600 odd people in Penang that “Khai insists on doing this and that for me even when I tell him it is risky. That is how dedicated he is to the cause of saving Malaysia”.

Yes, that much bullshit in just two sentences.

Right off the bat, I don’t blame Khai for thinking that Mahathir would have paid him RM20 million. The thing is, this Khai fellow actually believes he is an important figure in the scheme of things, that Mahathir needs him to fight cases against Najib in court. He was so sure of himself, he thought the old man would fork out RM20 million atop the RM17 million he forked out three years ago.

Anyway, Khai was taken aback with Mahathir’s response. So ‘depressed and dispirited’ was he, he decided to make very public his departure from Pribumi. Do you know why? Apparently, Ezam had told him that Najib would send his men running towards him with ‘sweeteners’ in exchange for inside information on Pribumi. Khai actually believed Ezam, that Najib was desperate enough to seek his assistance in destroying Mahathir. So he decided to make very public his departure just to let Najib know he was serious.

So did Najib’s men come running like Ezam said they would?

No.

In fact, a well placed source told me that UMNO leaders were instructed to “keep a ten foot pole distance” from Khai. And why shouldn’t they? I mean, this is the guy who conspired with foreigners to subvert government and placed our nation’s security in grave jeopardy. This is also the guy who ran into the arms of waiting FBI officials to lodge fake reports against the Prime Minister. So why should anyone trust Khairuddin Abu Hassan enough to have anything to do with him?

Wei Khai Bai, hang ni gangster lagu mana ni? Tak nampak ke hang dah kena getah ngan si Ezam dan Izzah tu? Dah la gangster taik kucing, nak wat lebih2 tu apa cte?

Yes. So stupid is Khai, he hasn’t the faintest idea that Ezam and Nurul conspired to play him out. What’s worse, he doesn’t even know that Muhyiddin had something to do with it, or the fact that Muhyiddin was channelling millions to Ezam and Nurul through the Jakarta based HCR. And while the two lovebirds were having a gala time in Jakarta, they cooked up a plot to trigger a crisis in Pribumi.

Funny is it not, that the guy behind 50 Dalil Kenapa Anwar tidak boleh menjadi Perdana Menteri should himself get ‘sodomized’ by Nurul, Ezam and Muhyiddin kaw kaw?

The Buddhists call it Karma.